BY DANIEL SIMONS

As Kevin Malone from The Office notes, the time of year when Girl Scout cookies arrive constitutes a highlight for many around the country.

“Springtime thinks that it’s the best, and fall time thinks that it’s the best. Cold time has kind of a strut, and Valentine’s thinks that it’s the best. But gather round peeps I’ll tell you the truth. Nothing beats the cookie season, that’s the truth,” states Malone, played by Brian Baumgartner.

To celebrate the kickoff of the cookie season, I have comprised a taste-test of five of the best selling Girl Scout cookies in the country, as noted by Business Insider’s article from 2014.

Trefoils (Shortbread):

Known as a Trefoil, or Shortbread, this buttery cookie was the first to venture over my gums. This cookie was the fifth best-selling product in 2014 according to Business Insider, accounting for nine percent of the total sales of $800 million. Though it looked promising, it left me wanting more. The cookie almost seemed bland. I really wanted a glass of milk at my disposal to wash that down, because my mouth was very parched. When eating these cookies, make sure there is a liquid close by to keep the mouth from running dry.

Do-Si-Dos (Peanut Butter Sandwich Cookies):

Making up for eleven percent of the sales from the total of 200 million boxes sold, the Do-Si-Dos are considered to be the cousin of the Tag-Alongs. Peanut Butter oriented cookies are a constant in my household. While I feel this cookie is a “safe” option, it still is a classic, and therefore makes me happy whenever I eat one.

Tag-Alongs (Peanut Butter Patties):

Personally, my favorite cookies of the bunch. The Tag-Alongs provide me with the perfect balance between chocolate, peanut butter, and wafer cookies. There were twenty-six million boxes sold in 2014, making up for 13% of all sales, but honestly, I don’t see why they weren’t the number one best seller , because these are the belle of the Girl Scout Cookie ball.

Samoas (Caramel deLites):

Moving on from what I think to be the best cookie, to my least favorite of the ones I taste-tested. I am not a fan of caramel and that is the main driving force as to why this cookie is so popular around the rest of the country, amounting to around thirty-eight million boxes sold. However, because the caramel is so prevalent in these cookies, they fall in the category of “Cookies I Don’t Like.”  These cookies are about as useful to me as a snooze button on a smoke alarm.

Freshman Bradley Quick enjoys the Samoas because “they taste so good and feel good in your mouth.”

Thin Mints:

The number one selling Girl Scout cookie in the country is the Thin Mint variety, selling more than fifty million boxes of cookies last year, making up a fourth of all sales. And you know what? They were “aight.” Nothing to write home about. The minty cookies tasted bland to me, and I don’t see what all the fuss is about with these cookies.

Senior David Cowart is a fan of the Thin Mints, saying “they are the just the classics.”

In my estimation, the Tag-Alongs are the best Girl Scout Cookie money can buy. To me, they are the consummate cookie. As a man well-versed in the art of cookie eating, and Oreo’s highest paid spokesperson, I would trust my judgement. However, if you think I am crazy, don’t listen to me. If you are confused as to what cookie you should buy because I go against what other people say, then just buy Oreos.