BY NOAH DILL
Roswell, The Loch Ness Monster, Balloon Boy and Crop Circles. These are some of the most famous hoaxes in history. Among these strange phenomena is none other than the Great Mariemont Drug Test Scare of 2015.
This scare began on the night of Wednesday, the 26th of August, Mariemont’s Athletic Director, Tom Nerl tweeted “Big day on Mariemont Campus tomorrow! #bebetter.” No one thought too much about it until the next day when the rumors started to fly.
New Richmond had recently announced that they would be randomly drug-testing 20 of their students involved in extracurricular activities. This announcement mixed with Nerl’s tweet sparked the rumor: surprise drug testing on that day!
As the rumor spread, panic swelled. Students left school “sick,” arranged clean urine swaps, and called their lawyer parents. When the fire alarm went off that day, a rumor had started that someone had pulled it to get out of the drug test.
Some students gathered the courage to ask Nerl directly about the drug testing. Yet, not a single person actually asked the most logical question: Is Mariemont drug testing?
Nerl claims that instead, they asked him about how drug tests work and how the school would choose the “victims”; questions that indirectly implied drug testing. However, they never asked directly. “I played along and answered every student’s question, just as it was asked?” Nerl stated.
Near 11:30 on that same day, the Warpath (@MHSwarpath) tweeted “Check out this Warpath Twitter account at 1PM to find out @mmontad ‘s [Nerl’s] surprise!”
At this point there was not a single doubt in people’s mind. At 1PM Mariemont would be selecting 20 random students for drug testing.
Then 1PM passed, no surprise. 2PM, no surprise. As the last bell rang, a sigh o
f relief echoed through the halls as the realization came that no drug tests were going to happen.
The tweet Nerl sent out was about the new Warrior flags the school put up outside of Kusel Stadium. “The tweet was never about drug testing,” says Nerl, “rumors just made it that way.”
The Warpath knew this all along and sent the tweet out to play along with the student rumors. They planned to send out photos of the flags at 1PM, but they never received the photos. They tweeted the photo the following day.
Nerl explained that in order to actually drug test athletes and students, he would have to go to the Board and get permission for this action. This is an expensive procedure and Nerl has never–and says he hopes to never– go to such extreme measures. “I guess the most concerning thing is how many people were scared of the tests,” says Nerl.
For students such as Lindsay Harden, who had nothing to fear, the whole situation was a real-life sitcom. “I thought it was hilarious how freaked out everyone was and how Nerl pretty much played along with it,” she says. For students who suddenly got “sick” and fled the school, suspicions arise. Harden claims that “if the school didn’t know which students wouldn’t pass the drug test, I’m sure they do now.”
“It was one of the best things to happen at Mariemont ever!” says Harden.
