Like most people, I’m getting a little sick of the incessant Charlie Sheen references.  I’m not doing myself any favors by following Andy Dick and Norm Macdonald on Twitter, where I read them by the half hour.

     Therefore this is a very hypocritical article on my part. While I’m on a roll I think next week I’ll do a piece on my favorite Justin Bieber jokes. Don’t worry though, I’m not just going sit here and rant about how stupid this man is because I don’t appreciate redundancy and I will not practice it myself. Rather, I would like to sort of analyze the situation and what makes it such a big deal.The way I look at this whole Sheen fiasco is that it’s very much like a bad kid getting into a fight with a teacher. As you watch the kid simply hound at the teacher, you know how completely futile and stupid it is, as no matter what, the kid’s going down. Yet, there’s a part of us that roots for him. 

    Why? Maybe it’s just that slightly empowering feeling of sticking it to the Man. But no, our support for him really roots at our true admiration of him. He’s doing something that we would never even consider actually doing. There’s a small part of us that envies this. He’s terrible in school, always in trouble, and all together just has nothing to lose. While we don’t actually want to be him, we can’t help but dream about his freedom, and what it feels like to be able to do whatever you want.  

     Not too many of us would actually want the life of Charlie Sheen. Even fewer of us can say that we really respect him. Yet so many of us can’t get enough of his antics. Sure we all get a good laugh at his newfound catchphrases and amusing tweets. But I think our obsession runs a little deeper. Like glossy-eyed kids looking into a toy store window, we watch him running around with his goddesses, waving machetes from atop of buildings, and we think to ourselves “there’s something I could never have.” For better or for worse, we are all tied to social responsibilities that without, our lives would fall apart. Unfortunately, Charlie also has such responsibilities. While he no longer has a job, he does have his son he is currently trying to gain custody of. Not to mention all of his other friends and family he’s alienating. So at some point this whole thing will come to an end. 

       Oh well, we can’t “win” them all. No one’s really meant to have that kind of freedom. That’s why we should cherish this small time while we can, before he gets bogged down by court trials and rehab visits. The future isn’t too bright for Mr. Sheen. The best he can do is sober up quick enough to maybe get a role in that new Iron Man movie.