BY OLIVIA DIERKER

For a high school student, a job can be hard to get and even harder to keep. The workplace is witness to many an awkward scene as young employees battle rude customers, unpleasant coworkers, and the monster that is minimum wage. Trying to balance school, a job, and a social life, four Mariemont students who will remain unnamed to protect their jobs sat down with me to share the salty details of life on the payroll.

“Once, a really drunk guy came into the theater asking for water,” begins one job holder at Mariemont Theater. “I gave him a water bottle for $3.50 and he says, ‘Three fifty for a bottle of water? Can I just get, like, a cup or something from the fountain?’ So I give him the cup and the bottle of water and he says the cup isn’t big enough. I tell him that’s the only size we have and he has me call the manager. So I called the manager, and he gives him an even bigger cup of water. At this point this drunk guy has the bottle, a small cup of water, and an even bigger cup of water. He pays for the bottle and leaves. Not even an hour later, he comes back and says, ‘Ummm, can I have some more water?’ I sent him away.”

Another employed student at Graeter’s agrees that the customer is not always right.

“A lot of people come here just to use the bathroom, even though they’re not supposed to,” they explain. “So one day a woman comes in with her really sick friend who looks ready to puke. She says her name is Mrs. Buskin and that if we didn’t let her friend use the bathroom to vomit she was going to call Mrs. Graeter and complain that we didn’t let her use the bathroom because ‘I’m Mrs. Buskin.’ She kept saying that she was going to have our whole store shut down. The manager kicked her out and the whole time she just keep saying that she was Mrs. Buskin.”

“How these situations play out is really based on how good your manager is,” reasons one. “If they give in to every sassy person that causes a scene then your job is pretty much going to be a nightmare.”

Another theater employee recalls scenes involving both customers and coworkers in Kenwood. “One time this guy came in and I asked him what movie he wanted to see and he just said ‘Yes.’”

She moves on to an even more awkward scenario.

“Also, we had this pregnant woman employed who worked the upstairs concession. She wasn’t allowed to leave because of the money in the register. So when she had to go to the bathroom, y’know, cause she was pregnant and had some weird issues going on, she didn’t make it in time if you catch my drift,” she ends in a cackle.

More experiences cross the line from salty to scary.

“During the night shift this guy kept coming in and circling the place,” recalls one Kenwood restaurant employee. “He just kept walking around the room. So my coworker says ‘He’s about to rob us.’ He was convinced he’s going to rob the place. So he ran back into the kitchen and hid there without me until the guy finally left. I was like, wow, thanks.”

Despite the adversity, all four agree that their jobs are valuable no matter how uncomfortable it can get. “If having a job has taught me anything,” one student solemnly concludes, “it’s that a customer can get anything they want if they complain to the manager.”