BY PARKER SULLIVAN

One of the most advanced Native American civilization’s credibility is on the line. The Mayan calendar is ending; the apocalypse is around the corner; and YOU need to know how to prepare.

The apocalypse being imminent, the key to surviving the end of the human race has to be planning, and with the doom-date (12/21/12) just around the corner, there isn’t much time.

 One of the key pieces to surviving is obtaining the skills and abilities that we will need, come the end of everything we know.

Mariemont senior Chris Simons plans to use the skills he has obtained from relentless study of the novel Hatchet by Gary Paulsen to survive in the post-apocalyptic environment.

While Paulsen’s book is about a child surviving alone in the wild, Simons has prepared to do this in a post-apocalyptic world with the book. Mariemont senior Kyle Matz has a different plan for preparation.

“I plan to play on my computer so I can have excellent dexterity and hand-eye coordination,” says Matz.

Mariemont sophomore Connor Bortz plans to physically prepare himself with hot yoga.

Conversely junior Luke Parker plans to hit the weights. “Curls for girls; that is if there are any girls,” says Parker.

Apart from being mentally and physically prepared, in a world that could perhaps not have food one needs to be prepared with resources and provisions necessary to survive.

Assuming that most (if not all) the infrastructure is gone, survivors will have to find another place to take shelter. Simons says, by the time of the apocalypse he will have completed his underground base where he will have the necessary provisions to survive. Matz however has a different plan.

“I’ll go to Atlantis, they’ll never get me there,” Matz says.

The students have displayed their preparation skills, but do they even know what is actually going to happen on the 21st of December?

Movies like Mel Gibson’s “Apocalypto” and “2012” have blown up a Mesoamerican civilization’s misunderstood prediction into a full blown universal disaster, while in reality that isn’t what their prophecy foresees.

The truth is that the Maya simply predict the end of a cycle. Theories and opinions vary on what the end of a cycle means.

 Perhaps new and improved humans will arrive, maybe the gods will strike us all down, maybe the earth will be destroyed in the sun’s fiery explosion, it could even mean nothing.

Despite this, the Aztec equivalent of the Mayan cycle ends in the 2020’s and the conspiracy and preparation will begin all over again.

APOCALYPSE SURVIVAL LIST

PHYSICAL AND MENTAL SKILLS:
1. Tip top physical shape: Who knows what the world will throw at you once it’s ended. It won’t matter if you are in supreme physical shape. You will be able to take out aliens, zombies or other clans of humans come the need to do so.
2. Excellent dexterity and hand-eye coordination: The post apocalyptic world will chew up and spit out a clumsy, uncoordinated person. Humans of the new world will need to be able to react like a cat in order to sustain there own lives.
3. Hardened conscience: There is no denying it, if something does happen, there could be some lives lost, some alliances broken, and some feelings hurt. If you harden up that conscience of yours you will be able to take those situations with a grain of salt and continue your destroyed life.
4. The survival skills of Bear Grylls: The post-apocalyptic world will no longer pamper the sheltered citizens of today. Now you must be able to kill a snake with your bare hands, skin it with your teeth, and know what part of it to eat.

5. Study Up: Specifically on ancient civilizations. Unless you want the world’s future to be a primitive chaotic society based on anarchy or led by cruel power-hungry dictators, you should study some of the more successful early civilizations. Use G-CREPS (copyright Mr. Hanley) and knowledge of successful civilizations to rebuild society in the blank slate of a world you will be living in. Follow the line of history so that you can return to a once civilized world over a shorter amount of time.

TANGIBLE PROVISIONS:
1. Shelter: Some sort of underground base in which to store all the following goods as well as be able to sleep with reasonable comfort and safety
2. Food: specifically cans, they’ll last forever and you will have some good options. Unfortunately with the death of Hostess (http://hostessbrands.com/Closed.aspx?) unless you have stockpiled that, the death of the everlasting twinkie will have come before that of the human race. This means that there will be very little to chose from when you want some dessert.
3. Clean drinking water: this will be difficult, there’s no telling what ash from the some perhaps could do to the water or zombies or whatever actually happens. The best suggestion for now is to go on Craigslist and buy as many bathtubs as you can and fill them with good water. This way you will have a good supply of water until you can find a way to replenish it from nature.
4. Fire: you are going to need a way to cook and stay warm. There’s no way to tell how the apocalypse could affect the post-apocalyptic climate so the ability to create and sustain fire is key. Also, with electricity most likely out of the question, lighting will also be needed.
OPTIONAL:
5. Soap: come the end of the world one thing that you might want for afterwards is some supplies so that you can practice hygiene to some degree.
6. Decoration: In your shelter, in order to refrain from becoming insane you may want to spice it up a little bit. Maybe some nice color, a couch, a couple Lazyboys, a coffee table.
7. Games: With the probable loss of electricity, all forms of entertainment from the 21st century will be gone, so humans will have to resort to the forms of entertainment of the past like non-electronic toys, board games, dolls, dress up clothes, action figures, Legos, etc.
8. Books: In order to restore human culture after the apocalypse you may want to stockpile some of the classics. They will remind you of the good old times before the explosion of the sun or whatever doomsday scenario occurs.